Rekindling Old Love: 2018

When it's time to rekindle old love affairs, it takes a lot of time, effort and thought. I've spent a lot of time effort and thought putting together a project for myself and this year will be my blog. Photos, food, my pup, adventures and experiences are all going to be stuck together in this little web site.

I've always wanted to document it all. In 2015 I started art journaling. Something for a creative outlet and experiment with processes. I would work on multiple pages at a time and add tiny things here and there... Some of those photos are on Instagram and the Facebook Midget Digit page.

In 2016 I did a photo a day on Instagram. If you haven't checked that out... well it was fun! 365 photos in 365 days... sometimes there were multiple posts to catch up but who cares. I also spent a lot of time on a weight loss journey which shows some progress and before and after photos. Either way, My year is there!

Last year, 2017, I moved to Kentucky and started an almost bullet journal. Mainly I made a bunch of lists- to do's, grocery, projects, Christmas, some doodles- but I also tried to keep track of my life and the events from day to day. I did that for myself and have continued to work on it more detailed this coming year. I've always loved a planner- not to schedule my life but to record my activities.

This year I want to dive into blogging/vlogging. I've had an interest in time lapsing some of the processes in which I work. Everyone always is fascinated by what I'm working on. (It's never structured or meticulously planned- just a rough idea of what I want to do and where I want to go.) I want to document that too.

So my rekindling is of my many projects I've started, wanted to start and just never finished. In one of my many journals, I have created a list of (what I can get to be-sometimes stretched over more time) 52 projects! I do know of one silk painting I started over 4 years ago.... ooops! I want to finish that for sure but will take time, on and off progression. So I am digging out supplies from my garage and going to try to use only materials I have stock piled to create an art/craft/project filled 2018.



...here's my first blog list.. lol

1. My first order of business is to create a Goals and Projects post so I can keep track of what I want to accomplish.
2. Document a few recent projects I've completed since last summer- mostly pictures and materials used.
3. Start my second Whole30 journey (starts today!!!) and review some meals and recipes I am trying out.
4. Obtain the materials to start videoing some work- projects, crochet, cooking....
5. Organize everything to get started.

CHEERS 2018

The beginning of the Show

I decided it was time to put together pieces of my Senior Exhibition "Symposium" and walk through some thoughts as an artists commentary. This is to get myself exploring the emotions and processes felt and used throughout this time period of my life. I hope to continue my art career in the near future by continuing to explore even more.

**In recent research and news about exploitation of images posted on the internet, all will have a watermark of "Midget Digits by k8monstAr" edited into them to protect my work.  Any questions, please comment or contact me.**

When approaching my show in the Boroughs gallery at ECU, you first stumbled upon my inspiration/brainstorm wall.

This featured art and design pattern work and its progress; the table cloth with simple screen printing a layered pattern; pages from my sketch book; samples and tests of the processes.

 Each piece of paper from my sketch book related to the process of designing and creating each project hung in the show. Random thoughts and words with doodles are found in my sketch books than the actual sketches of the final product. I intend on posting each of those pages in detail images when presenting the specific artwork.

The inspiration wall set the tone for the show. So many processes, thoughts and styles were presented through the show pieces. A good portion of time during my ECU time was spent in emotional turmoil. Death, leaving home, first broken heart, betrayal, family health and so much more consumed me outside of school and work. All of these emotions were explored through the many classes and works I was making. 

Each piece tells a story and a reason behind the thoughts. To interpret some of these, there will be difficult stories to tell and joyous times to confuse the mind. So much pressure and stress throughout these years are shown and have shaped who I am today. 

From the exploration of each piece, I hope to continue to explore the past few years and current emotions through new work.

Paper Decor/Ornaments

I made a few ornaments that were from scrapbook paper... In which I've maybe scrapbooked twice but have over 100 pages of scrapbook paper that I have occasionally used for book making, accents and multimedia projects. As of this time I'm still using ideas from pinterest that I have seen. The sad part is I only post the images and never look at the DIY link of how to and just use trial and error. Only if it is something that I don't know which material it is made out of or how the construction is made, then I take a gander. Yes, I said gander. This was the first thing I saw and said, "I can do that and refuse to pay for it. It may be simple but I have the time and hot glue supplies. Why not?".  Then I saw a little more that I loved even more... therefore these are two of the creations I made. 

So there was this website someone pinned some spiral ornaments on that I started to think about and how simple they were; yet they are so pretty. So I did my own version of that. It took a few tries of stringing it up and how far to squish it down but in the end, I love it. Two pieces wrong side to wrong side and strung it up. Through the bottom pieces in bottom to top order. Then from the top adding each one from the top to the bottom creating the spiral effect. Depends on how thick the strips are and how wide you make them to the size of the ornament. I like the oblong spiral mine created after a few trial and error runs.

Finally, I saw things from Martha Stewart's website that I wanted to create. After years of watching her DIY and home decor shows before tax evasion or what have you, I love that show. And the Bob Vila show in wood working. (one day this summer I hope to accomplish making a wooden rocking chair and a picnic table for my back yard. I can't wait for warm weather- but not until I've had enough snow. Snow withdrawal sucks.) So I created my silver snow fake mantle. You would think living in an old city house with plaster walls there would be some kind of wood burning something. But it looks like from the cellar/basement (barely 6" clearing) that someone removed the chimney that went up through the living room from downstairs. Oh well. You know an art kid improvises what to do to make things work for the things we want to have around the house. -- Minor things that is. I would love a deck and to go into the attic and create more spaces but the house isn't mine.... So I bought a mantle for myself to minimally decorate due to space in the meantime. I got a sign that says SNOW and porcelain candle holders with different cut outs on the side for a steal at Marshall's. I silver foiled the bottoms to make it stand out and fit into the decor (I love silver all year for many different reasons). They ended up perfect. I added the scrapbook paper trees to the mantle and POOF, Christmas was created. Don't mind the crack in the plaster wall.....

After making that work, I made a few more to go on top of the storage space and the christmas santa wine decorations, I was all set. Oh, the candle smells like christmas trees from Glade! I also have the apple cheer scent- sparkling spruce is what the green one is. Trimmed each one with some paint and glitter attached and coated on to the star and it was all perfect. 

I am still continuing the quest of making more holiday art/decorations/crafts to spread the cheer. Sometimes I don't want to give them away due to spending so much time on everything and putting a little of me in there... But its the best way for me to express myself - art. So I will continue to make more. 

December Holiday Crafts

So I always say that I want to blog more, all the time in fact, maybe this time I will. Who knows? On that note, I am crafting and art-ing again which I've never felt so clam at home and in my workspace as I do now. Bones at my feet and music or good company is always around. 

Bones, Tree and I (4months old)

I've been doing holiday things around the home for my sanity and to make the holidays cheery for Rell. I have done the front of the house, no where to the standard of the street I live on apparently. (Like imagine Hampden 34th street here in Baltimore minus the art....) I came home today to find christmas music blaring from my neighbor's front porch. When the house is quiet you can hear it word for word- but they don't play it late apparently. Anyway, the tree is up. Thank goodness I bought a pre-lit tree or that nonsense would not have happened no matter what. (Last year I made a huge deal about having the budget to buy a new big tree after not having one for about 4 years that my friends had a bet to see how long it would take me- or bones- to take it down. It was not long at all.) I waited a few days and spent time with Rell to decorate the tree. By we did this I mean he played/worked on the computer or iPad and talked to me. Believe it or not- I don't like to decorate the tree. People have expectations that I would have a very colorful tree with a lot of ornaments hand made and such. I don't. All silver ornaments and sparkly clear ones. Rather "Blinged" out if you will. (Again, last year the friends bought me colorful ornaments because my tree "wasn't Kate enough".)

Photo used for our X-mas card

Look how Small!

So like I'm attempting to say is I have decorated and have "ELF" quotes running in my head as I sit at my table and think of things I want to make. The list is endless... I did buy Bones one ornament this year which is right above his head. But if you haven't seen...

He's So handsome! (1 Year 4 Months)

A few months ago I wanted to start making hand painted wineglasses. I've done this before but always too last minute and never finished. Before I could run out of time, I was able to paint some things. Then I have this wonderful idea of making candles for the first time. It can't be that hard right? Well, it wasn't! Just made a huge mess in the process. So I created for my secret Santa candles as requested "Apple spicy holiday scent" in tea cups. 

 
 

So after that adventure I was very pleased with my results- and my secret santa person will hopefully be thrilled!   

By the way- Pinterest has nothing on Kate Bolt. For sure, there is nothing they can do on that site that I can not. I guess in a way I'm that person that does things she pins on boards. And this is just the start of everything. On my journey I have pinned a lot to my Ornaments Board.

These are such fancy silver glitter Ornament that I had seen manufactured and then on pinterest. I had everything I needed to complete this task. And- It was super easy and fast. Used permanent Markers and Stick on rihnestones I had laying around from another project. On the inside, I have this tiiiiny glitter that I use for make-up and just poured some acrylic clear coat inside, swirled it around put the glitter in and done! I love it. In looking on Pinterest, I had pinned something  PaperPrincessStudios had made and is selling on etsy. I wonder how her business is going on etsy. I haven't had too much success. Everyone wants something I'm making but will not buy online. Only random strangers.

Its hard to have an online business and be successful at first. I would love to have a "how to" Blog with documenting steps I take to create things. My Etsy page where I sell it. And then, I want a Facebook fan page. I've done Pure Romance before and know what work that entails. I have the drive, but time is not on my side yet. Looking back, I have gone from my original button bracelets to sell, to knit and crocheted hats/scarfs, to jewelry, to sock monkeys and so much more. I'm about to try to sell some of the paintings I have done that every one comments on when they come to my house. Eh, we'll see after christmas how that event goes.... On to more. 

Surviving on your own

Where to begin? The money? The moods? The stress? The settling in? The family?

After being broke for the first time in three years, like can't pay a bill other than rent and groceries kind of broke, I had to have the awesome conversation with my loving parents. I'm thankful for my parents but ashamed at the fact that a woman on her own had to make the call. So I put my big girl panties on and continued on. A budget in hand and still more broke. Time for a second job and sell off all of my belongings to try to make ends meet. How do people do this? Between pressure at work, the stress of just living and being depressed with high anxiety, I can't keep just myself straight. Which brings me to my most recent thoughts.

Everyone I know either lives at home or lives with someone. I think I'm the only person I interact with on a daily basis that has been on their own for the past three years between the ages of 20 and 30. Although it has had it's ups and downs and good and bad, this is the worst it has been for a while. If by 27, you live at home and haven't paid rent and supported yourself, what kind of life experience are you gaining? I was forced to grow up at a young age and took care of myself for a long time before I had the actual help of roommates or significant others. Since then, I have continued to fight for where I am now, and won't stop until I can have the life I dream. It just makes me look at society a little harder everyday. You can buy that designer bag, glasses and jewelry that I've never had but I find value in much smaller things. Leaving the grocery store under $100 and making it last two weeks or more for every meal without eating out is something to brag about. Cooking 4 nights a week and eating leftovers on your budget is something to brag about. Saving for your oil change and tire rotations on time and enough to pay for surprise dr appointments and the medicines prescribed is something to brag about. It's funny the things you value most when you live alone.

I adore someone else taking out my trash, mowing the lawn, helping me move furniture, cooking together or someone bringing home carry-out because it's been that long of a day. Those are the things I miss most. Having someone there to talk to and help you survive both physically and emotionally is one of the most amazing things I took for granted.

If I could go back to college and do it again, from the time of 2006 on, I would do it in a heart beat. Things I would consider:
- I am not going to use all the yarn I buy.
- Half the food you buy in college goes bad.
- Use the nights you have friends over to your advantage.
- Save money by learning to budget early.
- coupon.
- Don't stress out so much. You'll get it done.
- Laundry is easier in small doses.
- Take advantage of dollar beer night as much as possible.
- Go to bed earlier and work out.
- Do something for yourself once a week.
- TV shows don't help you do homework.
- Boys suck.
- Long distance will only hurt more.
- Live on campus at least once.
- Go to other peoples house, its less to clean up.
- Ride the bus.
- It all gets harder once you finish.

I want to go back and go to school longer to find myself more. I find my family continues to hold me back from what's next for me. Rushed. Guilty. Obligated. Pressured. Stressed. I should have stayed in NC longer and continued my life there. I don't regret moving to Baltimore but I will always wonder where I would be if I stayed there and continued my life with the people I am closest and adore.

Anyway, living on your own is hard. Harder than most people think. Speaking of thinking, too many thoughts. You have to be excellent at communication to not go crazy. Get your thoughts out and have connecting adult conversations that can take you away from your pretend you life at work. There's only so much I can do... and handle.

Personalities- Where are they accepted?

It has become overwhelmingly apparent that its hard to be yourself in the world today. Everyone has their expectation of you and who you are and how you act. At work, you have to fit into this profile with X, Y,  Z characteristics and you're always on stage. The people you spend your free time with are always judging everything you say. Let's face it, even your closest friends judge you and then you are described as "some kind of way". So who can you really be yourself around?

Out of the millions of people on the planet are we supposed to magically find the people that are similar to ourselves move after move and change after change that will always be by your side? You would think family would understand anything you might be going through and able to know the right thing to say. But once you tell family one thing, they continue to ask about it and make something that was once possibly a bad day into always being negative if its now your normal tone.

Work settings, now, expect you to portray these skills that always are present. Whether it be your communication, outlook or opinion on anything; you have to maintain the work professionalism. But then there comes a time in your 9 hour day that you just want to lean back and say, "I'm exhausted". Depending on who may hear that and their intentions of only helping themselves, it becomes a detractor from your skills. Come on, I'm human for Christ's sake! I can't have a single feeling that is not 100% upbeat, outgoing or productive. So then, at work, are you just pretending to be who you need to be to get by?

::Puppy Barking in his Dreams::

Sometimes, you just want to sit and do nothing. Maybe, you have a million things to do and need to express how stressed you might be. Other times you just want to be quiet to not unbalance the social environment to keep the peace and keep going in your life. Is there ever a balance?

Is there ever truly anyone who doesn't have problems with at least something you do? Or do they just keep quiet and learn to live with things? Behaviors, Habits, Verbiage, Necessities, Moods....

I just want to be me. Express myself and not stress about it. I think that means I am not where I need to be in my life and it's time to find something that is right. But how do you get there? More jobs to make ends meet and then less time to find yourself in the end. Its a never ending battle and I'm getting quite frustrated with everyone and everything, quite quickly.

I hope the agenda for tomorrow keeps me busy but relaxed so I can have a productive yet relaxing day...

Crock Pot: Potato Soup

My mom makes amazing home made potato soup. The kind where it warms your soul and you know exactly where home is no matter where you are when you have it. She freezes it in portion sizes for the family ever since the start. Once off to college, she made the portions smaller to take home and have on a cold lonely day. Seeing as its been cold and mom is preoccupied, I started on my own endeavor into potato soup, home made, Kate style.

I have a small old fashioned crock pot which makes more than enough for me but enough for leftovers you don't get tired of. Five heat settings; literally 1-5 on the dial for heat.

Ingredients:

1 Can of chicken broth (Swanson's)
- 1 can of this water
2 cans of Campbell's cream of potato
- 1 can of this water
1/2 cup milk
6 potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1/2'' cubes
1 carrot stick chopped (I used 5 carrot pieces from the bag i bought for lunches)
1 celery stick chopped
1/2 white onion diced
1 cup of sharp cheddar cheese

I put all wet ingredients in the pot and mix; the cream of potato is paste-like. Crank up the pot to 5. Chop and peel the veggies; dump them in. Stir. Let it go.

I left and went shopping and running errands from 2-5 (3 hours).

I probably prematurely took my emulsion blender to the mixture (smelling amazing). Get it all creamy and smooth. Add the milk and cheese. At this point I turned it down to 2.5 and let it stew for another 2 hours. By 7 hours total, my soup was thick, creamy and delicious. I would probably leave it to stew all day, blend when I got home and by dinner, its ready.

Either way, I added a little shredded cheese to the top and it was like I was at home all over again. Kate Insight: It has to be eaten out of a mug. Once the extra cheese is melted, its thick and creamy to drink or use a spoon.  No extra spices or complications. EZ as 1-2-3. Home was in the air.

At the same time, I've never felt so lonely. My own home, rented, Bones laying by my side- something's missing. A family, friends, or someone to share this with. I get it. Been there before. "Wifing season is upon us." So what do I do? Start watching every episode of Sex and the City. What better than knowing I have no female best friend close with the type of time in which I have. I wish I had a closet like Carrie.  The only BIG in my life is my car.

I'm oddly unsatisfied yet happy. The phrase that haunts me, "you'll never be satisfied in anything you do or have in your life. Something will always be needing to excite, enhance or change to satisfy you, for some time." In this moment I wish I could be someone else. But, that wouldn't satisfy me either. ::SIGH::

Soup, Wine and something else to snack on as I start or continue something to attempt to satisfy me. Home with Mom and Dad is where I'll be.... and Bones.

P.S. Should have Named Bones after shoes. Today he is the flip-flip bandit. As he lays with one that went missing days ago... sneaky bastard.