Apple Crisps/Dried Apples

We all love snacks. And I like to graze throughout the day. Having quick and easy snacks are wonderful. Most of the time this is when I get my fruits in for the day. Small oranges or tangerines, a banana, apple, carrots, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, or even half an avocado. But I like to have something ready for on the go.

They may not be the quickest snack but they are mighty delicious and cure the sweet tooth for me. Oh and I LOVE CINNAMON so that's an added bonus.

OK so to start you need to preheat your oven to 250 degrees. Grab your cookie tray and line with parchment paper. Wash your apples and grab your mandolin.

NOTE: If you don't have a mandolin, do yourself a favor and invest in one. I have spent hours meticulously slicing apples to the perfect thickness and still have un-even slices (which is fine, sometimes I enjoy the variation). But this is a life saver and so worth it. Mine came with a few other attachments for grading and slicing (if I wanted to make zucchini noodles with it, there's an attachment for that- don't worry, I'm trying it in the next few weeks). And it has the guard for your hand to protect your midget digits and a case that stores it all together and collects the food as you slice. I am in LOVE with this thing.

Once you have all your pieces, slice your apples. Sprinkle cinnamon on them, even some nutmeg! And put it in the oven. All ovens vary so keep an eye on them but I cook them for about 50 minutes to an hour and flip them about 25 mins in. If you want them to be crisps- add a few minutes, if you want them a little chewy like dried apples cut them a little thicker or don't cook as long.

Got them ready, throw them in. Go do whatever else you need to do. I did laundry and built a fire to crochet next to. Your house will smell AMAZING and you will have snacks for a few days!

Unrelated Side Notes:

I just want to let you know. Whole 30 is a struggle sometimes. (Read: being Kate is a struggle sometimes)

I wanted to attempt some ice cream last night (bananas, strawberries, almond butter and pecans with almond milk)....

Needless to say, I was impatient and just had cold fruit, so I had a smoothie instead.....

I have prepared some bananas that are patiently waiting in the freezer for tonight.

The Start of Christmas Crafts

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. Or, at least it was. Some how I lost all sorts of Christmas Cheer for quite a few years. But nothing will stop the amazing feeling of making something for someone and seeing their faces or knowing how much it means. That's why I make things for the people I love! So while Christmas is just an excuse to get artsy, I do it for the people I care about. So here's the start of the craziness this year!

This is the EASIEST wreath to make... ever. Take a bunch of ornaments. I think I got a tube of 55 of them for less than $10 and I caught a sale at Michael's for the ribbon. Take a wire hanger, unwrap the connection. I bent it to make it round. Simply thread through all the ornaments and re-wrap the wire at the end. I had enough to put every ornament on the wire hanger. I added a bow and POOF. Fastest and easiest thing I made all year.

The big time consuming project I did this year was for a friend back home in Maryland. She text me three photos and said.. CAN YOU DO THIS?! Her grandmother had made these for all the cousins and she wanted to do a whole set for the younger generation. I of course said absolutely. Family traditions are what it's all about.

So of course I had a few questions... dimensions and construction. She told me measurements and I was off to the races to figure it all out. I made a prototype and tested the stitching of the names. 

I ONLY made 17 in total.... They took about two weeks and I changed the pattern about two full mailboxes in. I made the ends a little differently and it helped with construction. I found it easier to go ahead and make all the separate pieces and laid them out in little piles once the names and flags were sewn on. I spent about 3 hours one night watching Netflix and making mailboxes. 

I wish I took more photos of them but this is what I found on my phone for documentation. 

The family LOVED them and that's what matters!

I had done some plastic canvas projects back in Girl Scouts. Like tissue box covers. I found this a little more challenging only due to figuring out construction. Overall, a pretty easy craft and ornament for Christmas. Just leave yourself some time to complete it all. AKA START NOW if you're doing a lot of them. (Take it from me!) 

Let's talk Food! Whole 30 Journey take two

Let's talk about some food! I spent a good amount of time between 2014 and 2016 attempting to figure out how to be healthy and get back on track. I started a low carb diet, doing a couch to 5k program, joining a gym and going 3 times a week. Nothing was really making progress. Well, it came down to eating a pound of pasta every night and drinking a bottle of wine. Having a sweet tooth with frozen yogurt and any other ice cream in sight.... I made it through struggling to be happy, sleeping, having energy... everything.

Then, on a whim, I decided to do Whole30. I was living with my Mom and Dad at the time and they thought I was nuts at dinner when I said I can't eat that, I'm doing Whole30 now! It took about two weeks for my Mom to figure out what I can and can't eat or what she should or shouldn't offer me. And she was super supportive through the whole time. Dad was just skeptical of things called spaghetti squash that wasn't actually spaghetti... ground turkey... forget it! HAHAHA

 I ended up continuing the lifestyle for about 2 months and stayed on a really healthy path for a long time after! I felt better, I slept, I had energy, my moods were really stable, my skin was glowing. 

I LOST 65 POUNDS. 

Mostly, I saw results and was super happy with where I was. Enough to make a big decision to move to KY later that year!

Between my recipe book (which is a pile of print outs and scrap paper and post its....) and Pinterest boards, I've thrown in some good stuff in my normal meal rotations. But with moving to a new state, making friends, being social, and living on my own again for the first time... in too long, I found myself back to old habits. (I did do about 2 weeks, maybe 3 in Sept to October.) Being LAZY is so EASY. I started to feel it too. Sleeping fewer hours and not sound, no energy, bad moods, weight, just being uncomfortable all the time.... 

It's time for a reboot. I started back on Whole 30 on Tuesday the 9th. 5 Days in and I'm feeling AWESOME. The only thing I miss is my evening glass of wine. I try to focus on what I can eat and it's wonderful. No sugar- not even in sauces. The first time was more difficult but now people are on the kick and more pre-made products are out there (ie. salad dressing, mayonnaise)

Lean Meat

Veggies

Fruit

Eggs

So here's two of my new favorite's I've been munching on this week. I switch up breakfast a bit and am trying some new things but a standard go to is a potato hash and hard boiled eggs or egg muffins. This time, we are Pinterest-ing it up.

 Sweet potatoes- cooked. With Almond butter and Milk (I'm drinking unsweetened Almond Coconut Milk). Topped with Blueberries, and a Nutmeg, Cinnamon with Chia seed seasoning! Breakfast has never been better. Add hard boiled eggs, a banana and coffee... GIRRLLLL 

it's like dessert ::insert heart eye emoji::

And below-- Purnell's Old Folk's Chorizo sausage sauted with some onions. Add sweet potatoes and veggie broth, bring to a simmer and add Kale... cook until it's fragrant in the house. OMG. I don't do spicy often and I can't get enough of this soup. 

Off to work some but I think this food obsession is amazing! 

I was thinking in the bathroom earlier and was like, "I need to add that to this post" and it has completely escaped me. I'm so frustrated. haha; Ever feel that way?

The Project List 2018

As I've been thinking about my goals this year, I have made a list of all the projects on my mind that I want to accomplish/try/explore.

This list has been in my head, rummaging around for years. Some how I never actually get around to doing most of them. OR I'll start them all while I'm in the ZONE but never FINISH anything. I'm sure many of you are thinking, "oh yeah man, I have a pile of things I've never finished". Well, welcome to my garage... I've got a little of everything and multiple in progress projects that never seem to come to fruition. Hopefully, this year, that will all change. 

(One goal is to downsize everything I own... this is HUGE. But I hope, this will help the challenge.)

I may not have 52 projects, but I have more than enough to get me through a year... and I want to do them all at once!!!

• Reverse Canvas
• Knitting- Socks, hats, cable scarfs, sweater
• Cross Stitch- Small Framed Pieces
• Coasters- Alcohol inks, photo covered, vinyl?
• Tea Towels
• Ornaments
• Tile 
• Salt Dough 
• Melted bead 
• Cinnamon dough
• k-cup hat garland
• can angels
• paper towel snow flakes
• Styrofoam and sequence 
• wine cork snowflakes
• tea light stars
• wood slices
• mirror trees
• light bulb
• Snowflake Rocks and Bling (maybe I meant painted rocks with glitter or gems)
• Shadow Box filled with paper flowers- vinyl quote on outside
• Machine Embroidery using Cricut and felt
• Tumblers- Glitter, Fabric, Vinyl, Epoxy
• Fluid Painting
• Silk Painting- Sugar skull commissioned piece.
• Mini Stocking Garland- Knit or crochet
• Valentines Garland
• Zentangle Baby Chicken and Giraffe
• Temperature Blanket
• T-shirt Quilt
• Refinish Step Stool/Bench Top
• Refinish Jewelry Armoire
• Scrap Blanket/Swatch Blanket
• Baby Announcement Signs
• Leather Earrings- cricut project
• Balsa Wood exploration on cricut
• Stamps/Journaling
• Mandalas
• Hand lettering
• Mug Painting and customization
• Cutting Board Etching/Glass dish Etching
• Home made stockings- crochet? sewn?
• Drift wood/Branch fabric wall hanging
• Sting Art (see Stephanie Strings)
• Ceramic Tiles- I'm pretty good with my notes but I'm not sure if I meant the tile ornaments, coasters or something different... so i'll list it until I figure out what exactly I was thinking.

Rekindling Old Love: 2018

When it's time to rekindle old love affairs, it takes a lot of time, effort and thought. I've spent a lot of time effort and thought putting together a project for myself and this year will be my blog. Photos, food, my pup, adventures and experiences are all going to be stuck together in this little web site.

I've always wanted to document it all. In 2015 I started art journaling. Something for a creative outlet and experiment with processes. I would work on multiple pages at a time and add tiny things here and there... Some of those photos are on Instagram and the Facebook Midget Digit page.

In 2016 I did a photo a day on Instagram. If you haven't checked that out... well it was fun! 365 photos in 365 days... sometimes there were multiple posts to catch up but who cares. I also spent a lot of time on a weight loss journey which shows some progress and before and after photos. Either way, My year is there!

Last year, 2017, I moved to Kentucky and started an almost bullet journal. Mainly I made a bunch of lists- to do's, grocery, projects, Christmas, some doodles- but I also tried to keep track of my life and the events from day to day. I did that for myself and have continued to work on it more detailed this coming year. I've always loved a planner- not to schedule my life but to record my activities.

This year I want to dive into blogging/vlogging. I've had an interest in time lapsing some of the processes in which I work. Everyone always is fascinated by what I'm working on. (It's never structured or meticulously planned- just a rough idea of what I want to do and where I want to go.) I want to document that too.

So my rekindling is of my many projects I've started, wanted to start and just never finished. In one of my many journals, I have created a list of (what I can get to be-sometimes stretched over more time) 52 projects! I do know of one silk painting I started over 4 years ago.... ooops! I want to finish that for sure but will take time, on and off progression. So I am digging out supplies from my garage and going to try to use only materials I have stock piled to create an art/craft/project filled 2018.



...here's my first blog list.. lol

1. My first order of business is to create a Goals and Projects post so I can keep track of what I want to accomplish.
2. Document a few recent projects I've completed since last summer- mostly pictures and materials used.
3. Start my second Whole30 journey (starts today!!!) and review some meals and recipes I am trying out.
4. Obtain the materials to start videoing some work- projects, crochet, cooking....
5. Organize everything to get started.

CHEERS 2018

The beginning of the Show

I decided it was time to put together pieces of my Senior Exhibition "Symposium" and walk through some thoughts as an artists commentary. This is to get myself exploring the emotions and processes felt and used throughout this time period of my life. I hope to continue my art career in the near future by continuing to explore even more.

**In recent research and news about exploitation of images posted on the internet, all will have a watermark of "Midget Digits by k8monstAr" edited into them to protect my work.  Any questions, please comment or contact me.**

When approaching my show in the Boroughs gallery at ECU, you first stumbled upon my inspiration/brainstorm wall.

This featured art and design pattern work and its progress; the table cloth with simple screen printing a layered pattern; pages from my sketch book; samples and tests of the processes.

 Each piece of paper from my sketch book related to the process of designing and creating each project hung in the show. Random thoughts and words with doodles are found in my sketch books than the actual sketches of the final product. I intend on posting each of those pages in detail images when presenting the specific artwork.

The inspiration wall set the tone for the show. So many processes, thoughts and styles were presented through the show pieces. A good portion of time during my ECU time was spent in emotional turmoil. Death, leaving home, first broken heart, betrayal, family health and so much more consumed me outside of school and work. All of these emotions were explored through the many classes and works I was making. 

Each piece tells a story and a reason behind the thoughts. To interpret some of these, there will be difficult stories to tell and joyous times to confuse the mind. So much pressure and stress throughout these years are shown and have shaped who I am today. 

From the exploration of each piece, I hope to continue to explore the past few years and current emotions through new work.

Paper Decor/Ornaments

I made a few ornaments that were from scrapbook paper... In which I've maybe scrapbooked twice but have over 100 pages of scrapbook paper that I have occasionally used for book making, accents and multimedia projects. As of this time I'm still using ideas from pinterest that I have seen. The sad part is I only post the images and never look at the DIY link of how to and just use trial and error. Only if it is something that I don't know which material it is made out of or how the construction is made, then I take a gander. Yes, I said gander. This was the first thing I saw and said, "I can do that and refuse to pay for it. It may be simple but I have the time and hot glue supplies. Why not?".  Then I saw a little more that I loved even more... therefore these are two of the creations I made. 

So there was this website someone pinned some spiral ornaments on that I started to think about and how simple they were; yet they are so pretty. So I did my own version of that. It took a few tries of stringing it up and how far to squish it down but in the end, I love it. Two pieces wrong side to wrong side and strung it up. Through the bottom pieces in bottom to top order. Then from the top adding each one from the top to the bottom creating the spiral effect. Depends on how thick the strips are and how wide you make them to the size of the ornament. I like the oblong spiral mine created after a few trial and error runs.

Finally, I saw things from Martha Stewart's website that I wanted to create. After years of watching her DIY and home decor shows before tax evasion or what have you, I love that show. And the Bob Vila show in wood working. (one day this summer I hope to accomplish making a wooden rocking chair and a picnic table for my back yard. I can't wait for warm weather- but not until I've had enough snow. Snow withdrawal sucks.) So I created my silver snow fake mantle. You would think living in an old city house with plaster walls there would be some kind of wood burning something. But it looks like from the cellar/basement (barely 6" clearing) that someone removed the chimney that went up through the living room from downstairs. Oh well. You know an art kid improvises what to do to make things work for the things we want to have around the house. -- Minor things that is. I would love a deck and to go into the attic and create more spaces but the house isn't mine.... So I bought a mantle for myself to minimally decorate due to space in the meantime. I got a sign that says SNOW and porcelain candle holders with different cut outs on the side for a steal at Marshall's. I silver foiled the bottoms to make it stand out and fit into the decor (I love silver all year for many different reasons). They ended up perfect. I added the scrapbook paper trees to the mantle and POOF, Christmas was created. Don't mind the crack in the plaster wall.....

After making that work, I made a few more to go on top of the storage space and the christmas santa wine decorations, I was all set. Oh, the candle smells like christmas trees from Glade! I also have the apple cheer scent- sparkling spruce is what the green one is. Trimmed each one with some paint and glitter attached and coated on to the star and it was all perfect. 

I am still continuing the quest of making more holiday art/decorations/crafts to spread the cheer. Sometimes I don't want to give them away due to spending so much time on everything and putting a little of me in there... But its the best way for me to express myself - art. So I will continue to make more. 

December Holiday Crafts

So I always say that I want to blog more, all the time in fact, maybe this time I will. Who knows? On that note, I am crafting and art-ing again which I've never felt so clam at home and in my workspace as I do now. Bones at my feet and music or good company is always around. 

Bones, Tree and I (4months old)

I've been doing holiday things around the home for my sanity and to make the holidays cheery for Rell. I have done the front of the house, no where to the standard of the street I live on apparently. (Like imagine Hampden 34th street here in Baltimore minus the art....) I came home today to find christmas music blaring from my neighbor's front porch. When the house is quiet you can hear it word for word- but they don't play it late apparently. Anyway, the tree is up. Thank goodness I bought a pre-lit tree or that nonsense would not have happened no matter what. (Last year I made a huge deal about having the budget to buy a new big tree after not having one for about 4 years that my friends had a bet to see how long it would take me- or bones- to take it down. It was not long at all.) I waited a few days and spent time with Rell to decorate the tree. By we did this I mean he played/worked on the computer or iPad and talked to me. Believe it or not- I don't like to decorate the tree. People have expectations that I would have a very colorful tree with a lot of ornaments hand made and such. I don't. All silver ornaments and sparkly clear ones. Rather "Blinged" out if you will. (Again, last year the friends bought me colorful ornaments because my tree "wasn't Kate enough".)

Photo used for our X-mas card

Look how Small!

So like I'm attempting to say is I have decorated and have "ELF" quotes running in my head as I sit at my table and think of things I want to make. The list is endless... I did buy Bones one ornament this year which is right above his head. But if you haven't seen...

He's So handsome! (1 Year 4 Months)

A few months ago I wanted to start making hand painted wineglasses. I've done this before but always too last minute and never finished. Before I could run out of time, I was able to paint some things. Then I have this wonderful idea of making candles for the first time. It can't be that hard right? Well, it wasn't! Just made a huge mess in the process. So I created for my secret Santa candles as requested "Apple spicy holiday scent" in tea cups. 

 
 

So after that adventure I was very pleased with my results- and my secret santa person will hopefully be thrilled!   

By the way- Pinterest has nothing on Kate Bolt. For sure, there is nothing they can do on that site that I can not. I guess in a way I'm that person that does things she pins on boards. And this is just the start of everything. On my journey I have pinned a lot to my Ornaments Board.

These are such fancy silver glitter Ornament that I had seen manufactured and then on pinterest. I had everything I needed to complete this task. And- It was super easy and fast. Used permanent Markers and Stick on rihnestones I had laying around from another project. On the inside, I have this tiiiiny glitter that I use for make-up and just poured some acrylic clear coat inside, swirled it around put the glitter in and done! I love it. In looking on Pinterest, I had pinned something  PaperPrincessStudios had made and is selling on etsy. I wonder how her business is going on etsy. I haven't had too much success. Everyone wants something I'm making but will not buy online. Only random strangers.

Its hard to have an online business and be successful at first. I would love to have a "how to" Blog with documenting steps I take to create things. My Etsy page where I sell it. And then, I want a Facebook fan page. I've done Pure Romance before and know what work that entails. I have the drive, but time is not on my side yet. Looking back, I have gone from my original button bracelets to sell, to knit and crocheted hats/scarfs, to jewelry, to sock monkeys and so much more. I'm about to try to sell some of the paintings I have done that every one comments on when they come to my house. Eh, we'll see after christmas how that event goes.... On to more. 

Surviving on your own

Where to begin? The money? The moods? The stress? The settling in? The family?

After being broke for the first time in three years, like can't pay a bill other than rent and groceries kind of broke, I had to have the awesome conversation with my loving parents. I'm thankful for my parents but ashamed at the fact that a woman on her own had to make the call. So I put my big girl panties on and continued on. A budget in hand and still more broke. Time for a second job and sell off all of my belongings to try to make ends meet. How do people do this? Between pressure at work, the stress of just living and being depressed with high anxiety, I can't keep just myself straight. Which brings me to my most recent thoughts.

Everyone I know either lives at home or lives with someone. I think I'm the only person I interact with on a daily basis that has been on their own for the past three years between the ages of 20 and 30. Although it has had it's ups and downs and good and bad, this is the worst it has been for a while. If by 27, you live at home and haven't paid rent and supported yourself, what kind of life experience are you gaining? I was forced to grow up at a young age and took care of myself for a long time before I had the actual help of roommates or significant others. Since then, I have continued to fight for where I am now, and won't stop until I can have the life I dream. It just makes me look at society a little harder everyday. You can buy that designer bag, glasses and jewelry that I've never had but I find value in much smaller things. Leaving the grocery store under $100 and making it last two weeks or more for every meal without eating out is something to brag about. Cooking 4 nights a week and eating leftovers on your budget is something to brag about. Saving for your oil change and tire rotations on time and enough to pay for surprise dr appointments and the medicines prescribed is something to brag about. It's funny the things you value most when you live alone.

I adore someone else taking out my trash, mowing the lawn, helping me move furniture, cooking together or someone bringing home carry-out because it's been that long of a day. Those are the things I miss most. Having someone there to talk to and help you survive both physically and emotionally is one of the most amazing things I took for granted.

If I could go back to college and do it again, from the time of 2006 on, I would do it in a heart beat. Things I would consider:
- I am not going to use all the yarn I buy.
- Half the food you buy in college goes bad.
- Use the nights you have friends over to your advantage.
- Save money by learning to budget early.
- coupon.
- Don't stress out so much. You'll get it done.
- Laundry is easier in small doses.
- Take advantage of dollar beer night as much as possible.
- Go to bed earlier and work out.
- Do something for yourself once a week.
- TV shows don't help you do homework.
- Boys suck.
- Long distance will only hurt more.
- Live on campus at least once.
- Go to other peoples house, its less to clean up.
- Ride the bus.
- It all gets harder once you finish.

I want to go back and go to school longer to find myself more. I find my family continues to hold me back from what's next for me. Rushed. Guilty. Obligated. Pressured. Stressed. I should have stayed in NC longer and continued my life there. I don't regret moving to Baltimore but I will always wonder where I would be if I stayed there and continued my life with the people I am closest and adore.

Anyway, living on your own is hard. Harder than most people think. Speaking of thinking, too many thoughts. You have to be excellent at communication to not go crazy. Get your thoughts out and have connecting adult conversations that can take you away from your pretend you life at work. There's only so much I can do... and handle.

Personalities- Where are they accepted?

It has become overwhelmingly apparent that its hard to be yourself in the world today. Everyone has their expectation of you and who you are and how you act. At work, you have to fit into this profile with X, Y,  Z characteristics and you're always on stage. The people you spend your free time with are always judging everything you say. Let's face it, even your closest friends judge you and then you are described as "some kind of way". So who can you really be yourself around?

Out of the millions of people on the planet are we supposed to magically find the people that are similar to ourselves move after move and change after change that will always be by your side? You would think family would understand anything you might be going through and able to know the right thing to say. But once you tell family one thing, they continue to ask about it and make something that was once possibly a bad day into always being negative if its now your normal tone.

Work settings, now, expect you to portray these skills that always are present. Whether it be your communication, outlook or opinion on anything; you have to maintain the work professionalism. But then there comes a time in your 9 hour day that you just want to lean back and say, "I'm exhausted". Depending on who may hear that and their intentions of only helping themselves, it becomes a detractor from your skills. Come on, I'm human for Christ's sake! I can't have a single feeling that is not 100% upbeat, outgoing or productive. So then, at work, are you just pretending to be who you need to be to get by?

::Puppy Barking in his Dreams::

Sometimes, you just want to sit and do nothing. Maybe, you have a million things to do and need to express how stressed you might be. Other times you just want to be quiet to not unbalance the social environment to keep the peace and keep going in your life. Is there ever a balance?

Is there ever truly anyone who doesn't have problems with at least something you do? Or do they just keep quiet and learn to live with things? Behaviors, Habits, Verbiage, Necessities, Moods....

I just want to be me. Express myself and not stress about it. I think that means I am not where I need to be in my life and it's time to find something that is right. But how do you get there? More jobs to make ends meet and then less time to find yourself in the end. Its a never ending battle and I'm getting quite frustrated with everyone and everything, quite quickly.

I hope the agenda for tomorrow keeps me busy but relaxed so I can have a productive yet relaxing day...

Crock Pot: Potato Soup

My mom makes amazing home made potato soup. The kind where it warms your soul and you know exactly where home is no matter where you are when you have it. She freezes it in portion sizes for the family ever since the start. Once off to college, she made the portions smaller to take home and have on a cold lonely day. Seeing as its been cold and mom is preoccupied, I started on my own endeavor into potato soup, home made, Kate style.

I have a small old fashioned crock pot which makes more than enough for me but enough for leftovers you don't get tired of. Five heat settings; literally 1-5 on the dial for heat.

Ingredients:

1 Can of chicken broth (Swanson's)
- 1 can of this water
2 cans of Campbell's cream of potato
- 1 can of this water
1/2 cup milk
6 potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1/2'' cubes
1 carrot stick chopped (I used 5 carrot pieces from the bag i bought for lunches)
1 celery stick chopped
1/2 white onion diced
1 cup of sharp cheddar cheese

I put all wet ingredients in the pot and mix; the cream of potato is paste-like. Crank up the pot to 5. Chop and peel the veggies; dump them in. Stir. Let it go.

I left and went shopping and running errands from 2-5 (3 hours).

I probably prematurely took my emulsion blender to the mixture (smelling amazing). Get it all creamy and smooth. Add the milk and cheese. At this point I turned it down to 2.5 and let it stew for another 2 hours. By 7 hours total, my soup was thick, creamy and delicious. I would probably leave it to stew all day, blend when I got home and by dinner, its ready.

Either way, I added a little shredded cheese to the top and it was like I was at home all over again. Kate Insight: It has to be eaten out of a mug. Once the extra cheese is melted, its thick and creamy to drink or use a spoon.  No extra spices or complications. EZ as 1-2-3. Home was in the air.

At the same time, I've never felt so lonely. My own home, rented, Bones laying by my side- something's missing. A family, friends, or someone to share this with. I get it. Been there before. "Wifing season is upon us." So what do I do? Start watching every episode of Sex and the City. What better than knowing I have no female best friend close with the type of time in which I have. I wish I had a closet like Carrie.  The only BIG in my life is my car.

I'm oddly unsatisfied yet happy. The phrase that haunts me, "you'll never be satisfied in anything you do or have in your life. Something will always be needing to excite, enhance or change to satisfy you, for some time." In this moment I wish I could be someone else. But, that wouldn't satisfy me either. ::SIGH::

Soup, Wine and something else to snack on as I start or continue something to attempt to satisfy me. Home with Mom and Dad is where I'll be.... and Bones.

P.S. Should have Named Bones after shoes. Today he is the flip-flip bandit. As he lays with one that went missing days ago... sneaky bastard.
  

Things No-one Told You

Living by yourself in 2013 is like living in finals week for months on end. Always something looming over you.

You can't blame the mess on anyone else when you live alone.

When things go missing, you think you're going crazy.

If you can't remember where you put something, no one can say "last time I saw it...".

No one is going to surprise you with a home cooked meal, bath run, candles lit and a clean house. Ever.

You no longer want to leave your house when you work so hard to keep the roof over your head and are never home.

Quiet time is amazing, until you hear that one noise.... you know, the one you can't identify and every scary movie you've ever seen flashes in your head.

When you forget to go grocery shopping, there's still no food.

No one is there to wake you up from the couch to see if you want to go to bed.

You don't have to hear anyone's alarm but your own, if you decide to set it... depending on where you live.

Whatever you decide to wear in your house, is A O K. No one to tell you otherwise.

....No one to say, "You're wearing THAT out of the house?!"

The more money you make, the more the government owns you.

Student Loans are the devil... but who didn't know that.

You get to keep the temperature at whatever you would like, as long as you can afford it.

Get to know your apartment neighbors; don't get to know them too well. Mind your own business.

Having a big dog that is nothing but a love bug with a lot of energy comes off as an agressive threat to those that you want them to.

There will never be enough hours in the day when technology is involved. Turn it off and get out.

Keep Going.

Remember #1 is most important.

It's O.K. to be selfish when its the right decision for you.

Vision of Good Part 1

I was sitting contemplating what all is going on in my life and throughout my days. Something I wanted to focus on is what a Vision of GOOD (VoG) looks like through out each task.

Sleeping: 6-8 hours a night would be amazing. Means I have to put away the technology and go to bed before 11:30 or later every night.

Breakfast: Eating breakfast in general would be amazing. Go back to shakes and fruit and yogurt or even oatmeal. Fast easy breakfasts that keep me on track. VoG: Three meals plus snacks a day. All before 9 pm.

Timely: Yes, I am notorious for my time. On time is when I get there. I've lived like that since my junior year in high school when I became on my own time schedule instead of my brothers (my ride). 10-15 mins late is me. Might as well not rush if you're already late. It just frustrates you and stresses you out. The beginning of a bad day is being woken up abruptly and realizing I'm late. No Fun. VoG: get there on time, early we'll shoot for when we get that far. haha. Maybe Bones will cooperate with this too.

Work Ethic: I am one to say, if I'm going to work there I might as well do as much as I can to get as far as I can. Staying organized with a plan and a schedule helps. When it comes to most "Jobs" I feel I do that well. The only work ethic I'd like to improve is the motivation to work out and stay on track. VoG: No more, "tomorrow".

Exercise: There's talk of starting Insanity. Yeah I'm insane for thinking I can do it, but I love going to the gym. I sleep better, eat better and have a better mood. Plus if Insanity is 60 days, there's 57 till my birthday. Could I be one hot lady by then and stop worrying about everything being too small and make it all too big? That's a VoG I'd like to see. 30 lbs? I think I can I think I can.

Budget: As I said before, coupon-ing would be awesome to help stay on target and on top of things. I'll take it. I've been doing well with the budget so far- just want to pay more to be out of debt. Vision of Good: out of debt and having $50 to put into savings every week/bi-weekly. AMAZING how savings multiply. Then I can do what I've read so much about having split up bank accounts. Savings, trips, bills, emergency and everyday. Slowly but surely.

Bones: Warmer weather will make him more excited but calm all at the same time. He'll be able to go out longer and exercise and play ball. He goes to school soon so that VoG should improve automatically.

THE KIDS: I added a board to Pinterest called Summer days with the Kids. Tons of activities and crafts to do with them throughout their upcoming move (Hopefully settlement on MONDAY!) VoG: do kid posts on the things I've pinned on Pinterest and show how they went. Keep them occupied and not driving me nuts.

PR: Bill payments as stated in a previous post.

Cooking meals for dinner to eat leftovers instead of a frozen meal all the time...

To Be Continued.

Honey: Announcement

After a party on Saturday night, a nice relaxing sunday and a reasonably productive Monday I'm back to work. By work I mean a wonderful two and four year old taking over my life and wanting to type for me. I am not allowing that as much as I try and they dislike that. I'm on to business.

I have an announcement that is pretty heavy for the heart. Meet the family:

The family summer 2006

I want you to meet my dad Honey:

2008 Playing Games

Honey and I on Thanksgiving 2008

In May 2009 he battled Non-Hodgkins Mantel Cell Lymphoma. Cancer. Stage 4. He went from normal to Cancer throughout his entire body in three weeks. His cancer developed in a way that it was the third case in the nation that they have seen. The team of doctors at National Institue of Health (NIH) took him on a journey through experimental drugs to try to fight his case. He stayed in the hospital from the day he was diagnosed through the course of chemotherapy and into recovery. The experimental treatment is known to work to clear the body of cancer. They don't have any studies where the cancer hasn't come back. After a long road in the hospital, December 2, 2009, he came home clear of cancer.

Taking Christmas Photos 2009

For the past three years at every holiday meal we take time and talk about how special we are to have been able to fight such a long, hard battle. Behind the scenes a lot more has happened. The cancer caused his leg to fight his own skin causing a few years of healing (I'll spare you those pictures because they are pretty gross.) By summer 2010 one of the most awesome things was seeing Honey up and moving after gaining most of his strength back. Dad went from the big man that when you hug him you can barely reach your hands to clasp them to being able to hold both your elbows. He may have been physically small but his heart was bigger than ever. Thankful for the opportunity to continue to be with us and celebrate life. And that is what he did.

Dancing 2010 Memorial Day

Strategy Playing Beer Pong Memorial Day 2010

Memorial Day marked a time where he was able to get up and moving on his own. Leg still healing, he never failed to be life of the party. Although his strength wasn't anywhere close to normal and he was still so small in my arms. Dad always had this silly humor. After his experiences, it only got better. For example, he drew eyeballs on the ping pong balls we were using to play beer pong in order to "visualize the cups in mid air", to hit the target. He also kept the balls in a very special place. We have a drinks fridge and he made sure you had everything you needed. Balls in the butter drawer, beer on the bottom shelf, and cups right next to the cooler.  :]

Brothers Wedding October 2010

10.10.10 my brother got married. Honey was able to escort Mom down the aisle and give me kisses before the ceremony started. He was feeling back to normal as be big burly man as my Dad. We spent time with a lot of family that we had not seen since he got sick.

Family Photos Christmas 2011

December 2012 marks three years the cancer has been gone. January 2013, Mom reveals the concern that something is starting. Honey has always been just like my Great Grandmother, MaGrace, and very independent. "I can do it by myself." 

My best friend Casey Williams came up to see me and the only thing she insisted on doing for the two days she was here: Go see Honey and GiGi. After driving up from Raleigh, NC to Baltimore, MD, we drove back down to Chesapeake Beach, MD. Catching up with the family and Casey never felt better - I was in a better place than ever and they were doing well. 

Honey and GiGi in front of the Crab Pot Christmas Tree in North Beach 2013

In efforts to help Mom out as usual, we spent some time alone talking after hearing a hard phone call earlier in the morning. She was eating breakfast and I was getting ready to get some tasks done outside- Even though everything is almost normal, I try to help as much as possible seeing as my brother is in England and sometimes a 26 year old can help quite a bit. My brother had called and when we talk to Mom we always ask, "How's Honey?" Her face turns and the response is "I'm worried". Honey's not eating much. He's gained a lot of weight around his middle. He's asking for help doing things he loves to do (stacking firewood for the wood stove).  He's even more tired than normal. 

Honey got Bronchitis coming home Thanksgiving from England. The cough never left. GiGi and I continued to bother Honey about going to the dr's. He had appointments about two weeks from the time Casey was here for his normal NIH checkups to see how the drugs were working. He finally scheduled an appointment with his normal doctor at Kaiser Permanente. Blood-work came back normal for his levels. 

January 24th, 2013 Honey RELAPSED.

The program he was with through NIH was valid as long as his body was clear of cancer. Scans showed cancer in his Spleen and Blood. (They don't put a stage on it due to being a relapse.) NIH wrote out the "cocktail" of chemotherapy to follow for the findings and sent them to Kaiser to continue treatment. 

My feelings about Kaiser Permanente are an entire different post about my experience but I do not like them. While my feelings are irrelevant to this, they went back and Honeys team of doctors there are very attentive to him and his case. 

They started a week later with the prescribed chemotherapy cocktail and we are pleased with the attentiveness they are giving to the situation. Having not been in normal out-patient services before, there are a lot of nerves around the entire process. Example, when they said you're appointment is at 8 am and you'll have 5 hours of chemo, what they really mean is show up before 8 and we'll try to get you out by 5. Its all a process but one we aren't used to. Before it was all in the hospital and there was no back and forth. 

The first go was still scary. Dad had a reaction to the amount of drugs in a small amount of time they were trying to pump into him. It took longer than expected for the transfusion. Take it one day at a time and we can do this.

A week after his first round of chemo in the hospital, dad went code blue and ended in the ICU for weeks. A week after his frist round landed Honey in the hospital again. His fever shot up for no explanation. February 7th Honey was admitted to Holy Cross Hospital for 3 days. Not knowing what caused it the first time, or the second time, they deduced it was a viral bug and with antibiotics, he was free to go on Sunday. (Jon and Katie came back from England officially that Friday, Welcome Home!)

Since then he has been taking it easy. Yeah, Right. He went back to work and is trucking through everything like a trooper. Honey and Gigi were supposed to go for the beginning of the second treatment today but they are postponing that due to his platelet recovery. As of now, everything is on track for his treatment. They caught it early and the doctors are very confident in his recovery.

There are thoughts about What ifs? and Why me/us? but there is a reason and a plan. I just ask that you take this information and stay positive and send all positive energy and some prayers to our family at this time.

This leaves you with a smile and hoping you all are well physically and mentally.